Why Fred Bassett?
03/25/05 Filed in: Poppycock
When I was a kid, we had a Bassett Hound named Molly.
She was an agreeable dog, generally, though like all
hounds, she tended to vocalize too much. But she was
endearing just the same, droopy ears and slobbery
jowls included, loyal, kind...with the exception of
the time that she snapped at the neighbor girl's
face...and she lived a long life, and I think, a good
one.
I read the newspaper every day, and part of that ritual is the comics. The 'funny' pages usually aren't so funny, but it's cumbersome to call them the 'occasionally lightly amusing' pages. Included in this 2 page spread is a strip called 'Fred Bassett'. I have had ol' Fred delivered to me for years, in different cities, in different papers, and my question is: Why? Why Fred Bassett? There are certainly several moronic “comic” strips, to be sure, but Fred Bassett isn't one of them. Fred Bassett is dull. Supremely dull. Majestically dull, even. I have never cracked a smile at Fred Bassett. Fred Bassett resembles no Bassett Hound that I know, now or in the past. And Fred's insipid owners, with their bird watching and tea sets and walking sticks and stupid caps are even duller than Fred Bassett himself.
How did this come to be? Who at the syndicate is responsible for this, and who at all of those papers finds Fred Bassett amusing, or gods forbid, funny? Beetle Bailey, on his worst day, is Jim Carrey compared to Fred Bassett. Just stop with the Fred Bassett already. And take Funky Winkerbean with you.
I read the newspaper every day, and part of that ritual is the comics. The 'funny' pages usually aren't so funny, but it's cumbersome to call them the 'occasionally lightly amusing' pages. Included in this 2 page spread is a strip called 'Fred Bassett'. I have had ol' Fred delivered to me for years, in different cities, in different papers, and my question is: Why? Why Fred Bassett? There are certainly several moronic “comic” strips, to be sure, but Fred Bassett isn't one of them. Fred Bassett is dull. Supremely dull. Majestically dull, even. I have never cracked a smile at Fred Bassett. Fred Bassett resembles no Bassett Hound that I know, now or in the past. And Fred's insipid owners, with their bird watching and tea sets and walking sticks and stupid caps are even duller than Fred Bassett himself.
How did this come to be? Who at the syndicate is responsible for this, and who at all of those papers finds Fred Bassett amusing, or gods forbid, funny? Beetle Bailey, on his worst day, is Jim Carrey compared to Fred Bassett. Just stop with the Fred Bassett already. And take Funky Winkerbean with you.
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