A Gentle Reminder
12/17/05 Filed in: Poppycock
Planning to take the subway? Good for you. Mass
transit benefits us all. Keep in mind, however, that
admission to New York's underground transit system
requires a MetroCard for access. Oh, you already have
one, you say? Again, good for you. It's helpful to
remember that you should have your MetroCard within
easy access before you approach the turnstile,
especially if you're traveling at busy times, say,
morning and evening rush hours.
Otherwise, you will stand at the turnstile, loaded with your shopping bags and your puffy coat with the wonky zipper, and you will search EVERY POCKET for your MetroCard while denying access to the platform and the approaching train several hundred people, all of whom REALIZED THEY WERE TAKING SUBWAY AND ALREADY HAVE THEIR METROCARDS IN HAND.
This reminder also applies to use of New York's many buses. You may find it helpful, during your twenty five minute wait in the pouring rain, to use that time to search your person for the MetroCard so that it is ready to swipe through the card reader as soon as you step onto the bus. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE ON THE BUS TO SEARCH FOR YOUR METROCARD.
Oh, and that cell phone that you have? You may want to practice walking and talking before joining the pedestrian stream on one of New York's many streets. That pedestrian stream has places to go, people to see, trains to catch, and it does not appreciate that YOU CANNOT SEEM TO TALK ON YOUR CELL AND WALK FASTER THAN THE AVERAGE SNAIL.
Showing your friends the many sights New York has to offer? Tourism is great for the economy. Thank you. Please be aware that many of New York's sidewalks are narrow and fraught with impediments such as fire hydrants, news stands, overflowing trash cans, homeless people, and illogically placed signage, and that really, all of us will appreciate it if you and your friends/aged parents/cousins/johns DO NOT WALK FOUR ABREAST in front of us.
And, to answer your questions:
This park, as the sign says, is Bryant Park. Central Park is uptown several blocks, and is much, much larger.
No, I do not have a quarter.
No, they are not made from actual dogs. The sausage, however, is authentic 'track rabbit'.
Yes, anywhere on 42nd Street west of 8th.
Um. No. Ewww. But thanks for the offer.
Otherwise, you will stand at the turnstile, loaded with your shopping bags and your puffy coat with the wonky zipper, and you will search EVERY POCKET for your MetroCard while denying access to the platform and the approaching train several hundred people, all of whom REALIZED THEY WERE TAKING SUBWAY AND ALREADY HAVE THEIR METROCARDS IN HAND.
This reminder also applies to use of New York's many buses. You may find it helpful, during your twenty five minute wait in the pouring rain, to use that time to search your person for the MetroCard so that it is ready to swipe through the card reader as soon as you step onto the bus. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE ON THE BUS TO SEARCH FOR YOUR METROCARD.
Oh, and that cell phone that you have? You may want to practice walking and talking before joining the pedestrian stream on one of New York's many streets. That pedestrian stream has places to go, people to see, trains to catch, and it does not appreciate that YOU CANNOT SEEM TO TALK ON YOUR CELL AND WALK FASTER THAN THE AVERAGE SNAIL.
Showing your friends the many sights New York has to offer? Tourism is great for the economy. Thank you. Please be aware that many of New York's sidewalks are narrow and fraught with impediments such as fire hydrants, news stands, overflowing trash cans, homeless people, and illogically placed signage, and that really, all of us will appreciate it if you and your friends/aged parents/cousins/johns DO NOT WALK FOUR ABREAST in front of us.
And, to answer your questions:
This park, as the sign says, is Bryant Park. Central Park is uptown several blocks, and is much, much larger.
No, I do not have a quarter.
No, they are not made from actual dogs. The sausage, however, is authentic 'track rabbit'.
Yes, anywhere on 42nd Street west of 8th.
Um. No. Ewww. But thanks for the offer.
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