Poppycock
Cities, 2008
01/01/09
Where I was last year:
Charlotte, NC+
Sarasota, FL #
Tampa, FL
Davidson, NC
Blowing Rock, NC
New York, NY *
Vero Beach, FL #, *
Orlando, FL *
Richmond,VA
The plus sign is home base, pound symbol denotes long-term stays of more than a month, and asterisk means multiple non-consecutive visits.
I feel like I travelled a lot more than I did, and I’m surprised that I didn’t go West at least once.
Charlotte, NC+
Sarasota, FL #
Tampa, FL
Davidson, NC
Blowing Rock, NC
New York, NY *
Vero Beach, FL #, *
Orlando, FL *
Richmond,VA
The plus sign is home base, pound symbol denotes long-term stays of more than a month, and asterisk means multiple non-consecutive visits.
I feel like I travelled a lot more than I did, and I’m surprised that I didn’t go West at least once.
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This Does Not Look Good
06/01/08
What I'm Reading
03/05/08
A massive biography by Amanda Vaill. Robbins
was, of course, a theatrical dynamo, and most
show biz people know of his major works, but I
had no idea just how many projects the man had a
hand in. A clear picture emerges: He was driven,
ambitious, energetic, creative, catty, neurotic,
ambisexual, and brilliant. And immensely
talented.
I also picked up Stretching My Mind: The Collected Essays of Edward Albee
.
Albee is a marvelous essayist, and his
commentary on subjects ranging from Clifford
Odets, Samuel Beckett, and Noel Coward, to
Louise Nevelson, and Jonathan Thomas, to Three
Tall Women, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, and
The Goat, or Who is Sylvia? is a rich, wonderful
glimpse of the man, his influences and friends,
and our world these past fifty years.
Next on my list: Hi Concept, Lo Tech: Theatre For Everyone in Any Place
,
about which you may learn
here.
Not a new work (published in 1996), but one that
seems it may have much to offer in today's
environment.
Beastly
01/12/08
That's the synopsis from the Florida Studio Theatre web site, and that's where I'll be for the next six weeks, appearing in In The Belly of the Beast. I'll fly out Monday morning, meet my co-players (there are three of us), get settled in to housing, and start rehearsals Tuesday.
The script is intense, and I imagine rehearsals will be as well. I'll post updates throughout my stay in Sarasota, but like much of this record, the updates will be intermittent.
Cities
01/03/08
Jason Kottke lists the cities
he's visited each year.
Here's my 2007 list:
Charlotte, NC+
Richmond, VA
New York, NY
Chapel Hill, NC
Rockingham, NC**
Charleston, SC
Boston, MA*
Easton, MA*
Tucson, AZ
For comparison, here's 2006:
Montclair, NJ+
New York, NY*
Boston, MA*
Easton, MA
Charlotte, NC
Dorset, VT
Richmond, VA
Greensboro, NC
Asheville, NC
In all cases, there was at least one overnight stay. The plus sign denotes the home base. Asterisk means multiple non-consecutive visits, and the double asterisk means it was not an overnight visit, but felt like one.
Here's my 2007 list:
Charlotte, NC+
Richmond, VA
New York, NY
Chapel Hill, NC
Rockingham, NC**
Charleston, SC
Boston, MA*
Easton, MA*
Tucson, AZ
For comparison, here's 2006:
Montclair, NJ+
New York, NY*
Boston, MA*
Easton, MA
Charlotte, NC
Dorset, VT
Richmond, VA
Greensboro, NC
Asheville, NC
In all cases, there was at least one overnight stay. The plus sign denotes the home base. Asterisk means multiple non-consecutive visits, and the double asterisk means it was not an overnight visit, but felt like one.
Big Brother
12/16/07
I don't use the Dashboard function on my Mac for
much. I keep a few widgets open, though: weather,
dictionary, calculator, and Slothcam, a webcam
checker. One of the cameras is outside TGI Fridays in
New York, just around the corner from the Actors
Equity offices. Tonight, while I was crunching a few
pitiful numbers, the webcam showed a young couple
clearly aware that an active camera exists.
I grabbed this shot at 7:07 pm. They were still there at 7:15.
A while later around 8:55, I checked the weather widget. The webcam now showed another couple
on the phone, no doubt to somebody who could see them on cam.
The conversation (s) continued for about 10 minutes, with the kids passing the phone back and forth.
About an hour later, at 10:06, a group of 4 -also on the phone:
About 5 minutes later, another guy appeared (the red hat)...and he, too, placed a call and waved.
This bunch stayed around for another few minutes.
I'm not surprised that people are aware of the camera, but I am surprised that these folks a) know somebody who has a webcam viewer up and running, and b) that they were able to get them on the phone.
Also, that I was fascinated enough to check in at three different times on a random Sunday night and see this speaks volumes about me. Loudest: I need to get out more.
I grabbed this shot at 7:07 pm. They were still there at 7:15.
A while later around 8:55, I checked the weather widget. The webcam now showed another couple
on the phone, no doubt to somebody who could see them on cam.
The conversation (s) continued for about 10 minutes, with the kids passing the phone back and forth.
About an hour later, at 10:06, a group of 4 -also on the phone:
About 5 minutes later, another guy appeared (the red hat)...and he, too, placed a call and waved.
This bunch stayed around for another few minutes.
I'm not surprised that people are aware of the camera, but I am surprised that these folks a) know somebody who has a webcam viewer up and running, and b) that they were able to get them on the phone.
Also, that I was fascinated enough to check in at three different times on a random Sunday night and see this speaks volumes about me. Loudest: I need to get out more.
Glenn Gets All The Interesting Jobs
04/13/07
My friend Glenn has given memorable
performances in many films over the years, and
he's remained the same guy I first worked with
in 1981: Funny, charming, generous, and
outrageous. One of his appearances, previously
limited visitors at the Venice Biennale and the
Whitney Biennale, is now surfacing on the
interweb: Trailer For A Remake of Gore
Vidal's 'Caligula'. (NSFW)
Michelle Phillips, Karen Black, and Glenn Shadix (as Claudius)
Of course, there is no such film. The trailer is by Italian artist Francesco Vezzoli, and to get a bit of background, see this article. I urge you to watch the 5 minute film first, though, as the are a couple of surprises in the casting. It must've been a hoot on the set.
Michelle Phillips, Karen Black, and Glenn Shadix (as Claudius)
Of course, there is no such film. The trailer is by Italian artist Francesco Vezzoli, and to get a bit of background, see this article. I urge you to watch the 5 minute film first, though, as the are a couple of surprises in the casting. It must've been a hoot on the set.
Roscoe Lee Brown
04/12/07
In Los Angeles in the early 1990's, I appeared in a
play called To Be Let
Alone, at the old Burbage Theatre on
the West Side. Directed by Paul Gillette, it was a
docu-drama/fantasy, set in the Reagan years, in which
a group of 'radicals' kidnapped the conservative
members of the Supreme Court and put them on trial
for their decision in the infamous Georgia sodomy
case. The radicals, as it turned out, were all
homosexuals who'd been persecuted for being gay, or
in the case of the Prosecutor, the father of a young
man who'd killed himself after the decision was
handed down.
The play starred Don Galloway as the prosecuting attorney, Denise Dowse as the Judge, and Dennis Safren as the boy's psychologist. I played the bailiff, who was put on the stand to reveal he'd been disbarred for being gay. As trite as the premise sounds, it was actually a powerful piece of theatre, wholly of it's time. I think audiences enjoyed watching William Rehnquist, 'Whizzer' White, Sandra Day O'Connor, and the others, squirm and defend their thinking as they attempted to justify the decision. The cast was quite wonderful, with Galloway particularly effective as a father who realized too late his son's anguish.
We played to full houses, and the show had
decent reviews. There was quite a buzz in the gay
community, of course, and some nights the audience
were very vocal, giving the whole enterprise a
feeling of a 'call and response' church service. One
night toward the end of the run, after curtain calls
and the crowd had mostly cleared out, I walked back
out onstage to cross to the exit (this was a very
small theatre), I was approached by Roscoe Lee Brown,
who'd been in the audience. He shook my hand, and
said "Thank you for your performance. So often we're
portrayed in a negative light, or with unfortunate
mannerisms and speech. You had none of that, just a
simple dignity that was very real and honest." Well.
As I'm not black, his use of "we're" could only mean
that Mr. Brown had just outed himself to me, and
further, that he was including me in that "we're". It
didn't occur to me to correct his assumption, because
I had just been complimented by an actor who I'd long
respected and admired. We chatted a bit more, with me
asking about, as I recall, his work on
The Cowboys, (he found John
Wayne easy to work with, with a working-man's sense
of humor) and then, in an instant, he was off
speaking with other cast members.
Roscoe Lee Brown died yesterday in California, aged 81. He was a consistent, if not ubiquitous, presence in American film, television, and theatre throughout his long career, and I found him to be gentle man, and a gentleman.
The play starred Don Galloway as the prosecuting attorney, Denise Dowse as the Judge, and Dennis Safren as the boy's psychologist. I played the bailiff, who was put on the stand to reveal he'd been disbarred for being gay. As trite as the premise sounds, it was actually a powerful piece of theatre, wholly of it's time. I think audiences enjoyed watching William Rehnquist, 'Whizzer' White, Sandra Day O'Connor, and the others, squirm and defend their thinking as they attempted to justify the decision. The cast was quite wonderful, with Galloway particularly effective as a father who realized too late his son's anguish.
Roscoe Lee Brown died yesterday in California, aged 81. He was a consistent, if not ubiquitous, presence in American film, television, and theatre throughout his long career, and I found him to be gentle man, and a gentleman.
Vanity, Thy Name Is Douglas
12/05/06
Thanks to the technical
wizardry of Isaiah at YourHead
Software,
the new galleries are up and running. There's
still commentary to be added to most shots, but
that'll happen with time and digging around in my
memory for significant stories. Meanwhile, click
on the link and see what we've wrought. as always,
questions and comments are welcome.
Shows What I Know
12/03/06
I am a regular reader
of Terry Teachout's About Last
Night (part of ArtsJournal's
group of blogs) and he reviews for The Wall
Street Journal, of which I am not a regular
reader but, y'know, I've heard of, and he likes the
new version of Company:
So there you have it, straight from the influential reviewer's mouth, er...pen. I have no reason to doubt his word, but I still don't like Bobby.In an act of recreative genius, Mr. Doyle has knocked the cobwebs off “Company” and turned it into an utterly contemporary chronicle of marriage and its discontents, one whose implications have never been more immediate.Like Mr. Doyle’s 2006 revival of “Sweeney Todd,” this is a small-scale production in which the 14 members of the cast double as their own onstage orchestra, playing everything from piccolo to double bass. It’s no stunt, either: By making their own music, the actors create an atmosphere at once intimate and intense, and Mary-Mitchell Campbell’s astringent new orchestrations strip away all the tired pop-music clichés of Jonathan Tunick’s original arrangements. Add in David Gallo’s appropriately glossy lucite-and-lacquer unit set and Mr. Doyle’s bracingly Brechtian “presentational” staging, in which the performers mostly play to the audience rather than to one another, and you get a show that looks and sounds less like a leave-’em-laughing Broadway musical than an avant-garde theater piece. No, this isn’t your parents’ “Company”—it’s better….
A Miserable Chorus
11/30/06
Should "A Chorus Line" and "Les Miserables" - two revivals that are pretty much carbon copies of the original productions - be eligible for Tony Awards?
That's the question posed by Michael Riedel in
Several sources predict a grand compromise."A Chorus Line" and "Les Miserables" will be eligible for Best Revival of a Musical, and their casts will be eligible for the performing awards. But direction, choreography and the design elements will be deemed ineligible for Tonys
That's probably what will happen, and it's a moot point: I think Best Revival will go to the yet-to-open "110 In The Shade". Never bet against Audra MacDonald and John Cullum.
At Amazon:
Carousel (1994 Broadway Revival Cast, featuring Audra MacDonald)
On A Clear Day You Can See Forever: John Cullum &The Original Broadway Cast Recording
A Chorus Line - The New Broadway Cast Recording (2006 Broadway Revival Cast)
Les Miserables (1987 Original Broadway Cast)
Note To Self: Eat More, Wear Lipstick
11/10/06
This from the
BBC:
Scientists have used computer software to come up with what they say is the perfect comedy face. The University of Stirling team blended together 179 different facial aspects of 20 top comedians.
They said soft and feminine features, typified by Ricky Gervais, were more likely to make people laugh.....
"....typically masculine
facial traits, such as chiselled jaws and high
foreheads are regarded as less amusing and their
owners are less likely to succeed in a comedy career.
"Faces of heroic actors are narrower than comedians', with greater definition, smaller eyes and prominent jaws.
Overall their appearance is very masculine, compared to the gentle, feminine qualities of the comedy face"......
Ricky Gervais said: "All these years I assumed my global success as a comedian was down to my acute observations, expert directorial rendering and consummate skills as a performer.
"Turns out it's because I've got a fat girly face."
Full article here.
Scientists have used computer software to come up with what they say is the perfect comedy face. The University of Stirling team blended together 179 different facial aspects of 20 top comedians.
They said soft and feminine features, typified by Ricky Gervais, were more likely to make people laugh.....
"Faces of heroic actors are narrower than comedians', with greater definition, smaller eyes and prominent jaws.
Overall their appearance is very masculine, compared to the gentle, feminine qualities of the comedy face"......
Ricky Gervais said: "All these years I assumed my global success as a comedian was down to my acute observations, expert directorial rendering and consummate skills as a performer.
"Turns out it's because I've got a fat girly face."
Full article here.
Gone Missing
09/17/06
The curiosity is killing you, I know, and the
questions are coming hard and fast: Where's Doug? Why
hasn't he posted? Why do I even bother to load this
stupid site into my browser?
Yes, there's been a gap. Somewhere, on my very computer in fact, are several blog entries from recent months that have yet to be posted. This can be attributed to flakiness or laziness or even busyness. I'll get around to putting them up, so that you may live my life along with me, but out of sync by about 3 months...which, when you get right down to it, is pretty much how I live, anyway.
Hang in there. Your patience will be rewarded. Well, maybe rewarded is too optimistic....let's just say that you won't be lacking for Doug news and leave it at that.
Yes, there's been a gap. Somewhere, on my very computer in fact, are several blog entries from recent months that have yet to be posted. This can be attributed to flakiness or laziness or even busyness. I'll get around to putting them up, so that you may live my life along with me, but out of sync by about 3 months...which, when you get right down to it, is pretty much how I live, anyway.
Hang in there. Your patience will be rewarded. Well, maybe rewarded is too optimistic....let's just say that you won't be lacking for Doug news and leave it at that.
Almost Out The Door
07/07/06
We're under a mound of boxes here, a good number of
them are packed, but many several have yet to be
assembled and stuffed. The movers will be at the
doorstep first thing Monday, and by the end of the
day we'll have not a stick of our own in the house.
I haven't moved like this since...well, ever. My parents sold the house I grew up in the moment I set out on my own. I did move several times when I lived in LA, but because I was nomadic, I rarely had more than a pick-up truck full of stuff to cart from one place to another. And one of my moves was into an apartment on an upper floor in the same building. But Jo has moved many many many times: big, house-sized moves with two small children in tow.
This one is a bit different in that respect-the girls are off doing Summer kid stuff until the end of July (Hillary to Switzerland, Maia to camp), leaving the heavy lifting to us. Which is probably best. They've both been pretty good about the idea of moving, meaning there's been a minimum of protest, tears, and whining. It has to be tough at that age, though, leaving friends and a comfortable routine for a new life and a new set of challenges.
We'll have our own challenges: The professional theatre scene is not as active in North Carolina (practically nonexistent when compared to this area), so I'll have to cover the South Eastern Region to find work on stage. There are a few commercial production houses, and voice work is a viable option. And I do plan to hit NY every few months, if only to pester my friends.
Jo will need to get her Real Estate license, and NC is a Broker state as well, so she'll need to get that license, too, if she wants to continue in that business.
I can't say I'll miss New Jersey all that much. Montclair is a nice little town ("The Upper East Side of New Jersey"), and the commute into the city is ridiculously easy...we're a half block from the bus and two blocks from the train...but the traffic is miserable here, the surrounding area is filthy, and the state government is hopelessly corrupt.
Feh. Off to play with packing tape.
I haven't moved like this since...well, ever. My parents sold the house I grew up in the moment I set out on my own. I did move several times when I lived in LA, but because I was nomadic, I rarely had more than a pick-up truck full of stuff to cart from one place to another. And one of my moves was into an apartment on an upper floor in the same building. But Jo has moved many many many times: big, house-sized moves with two small children in tow.
This one is a bit different in that respect-the girls are off doing Summer kid stuff until the end of July (Hillary to Switzerland, Maia to camp), leaving the heavy lifting to us. Which is probably best. They've both been pretty good about the idea of moving, meaning there's been a minimum of protest, tears, and whining. It has to be tough at that age, though, leaving friends and a comfortable routine for a new life and a new set of challenges.
We'll have our own challenges: The professional theatre scene is not as active in North Carolina (practically nonexistent when compared to this area), so I'll have to cover the South Eastern Region to find work on stage. There are a few commercial production houses, and voice work is a viable option. And I do plan to hit NY every few months, if only to pester my friends.
Jo will need to get her Real Estate license, and NC is a Broker state as well, so she'll need to get that license, too, if she wants to continue in that business.
I can't say I'll miss New Jersey all that much. Montclair is a nice little town ("The Upper East Side of New Jersey"), and the commute into the city is ridiculously easy...we're a half block from the bus and two blocks from the train...but the traffic is miserable here, the surrounding area is filthy, and the state government is hopelessly corrupt.
Feh. Off to play with packing tape.
Horrid Massacre
04/18/06
I'm recently returned from Easton, Mass, where I was
the Guest Director at Stonehill College. The show
was Horrid Massacre in Boston
by Don Nigro. Below is the kick-ass set by
Stonehill's resident designer, Kevin Brown,
built primarily by student labor.
I had a terrific time with this job. Thekids
actors, seen below in costumes designed by Joan
Halpert, were great fun to work with; eager, quick,
funny, and quite talented.
As with any show, there were frustrations and obstacles along the way, but cast worked hard- the crew, the costume shop, the stage managers, the house staff, too -and put on a wonderful show. If you saw it, thanks for coming. If you didn't, you missed a dark, funny, and touching theatrical experience.
And now that it's over, I miss them all.
I had a terrific time with this job. The
As with any show, there were frustrations and obstacles along the way, but cast worked hard- the crew, the costume shop, the stage managers, the house staff, too -and put on a wonderful show. If you saw it, thanks for coming. If you didn't, you missed a dark, funny, and touching theatrical experience.
And now that it's over, I miss them all.
Somewhere, Art Garfunkle Laughed
03/21/06
Today, the massive electronic clarion at Boston's
Downtown Crossing clanged out a welcome. Welcome
Spring! Welcome visitors! Welcome shoppers!
And what tune ripped through our springing, visiting, shopping ears?
What did the town fathers choose to blast over a five block area, rattling windows, setting off car alarms, and making babies cry?
'The Sounds Of Silence'.
The irony was entirely lost the assembled springers, visitors, and shoppers.
And what tune ripped through our springing, visiting, shopping ears?
What did the town fathers choose to blast over a five block area, rattling windows, setting off car alarms, and making babies cry?
'The Sounds Of Silence'.
The irony was entirely lost the assembled springers, visitors, and shoppers.
Sunny Day On Copp's Hill
02/05/06
Spent a portion of the day wandering around the North
End and older sections of town, getting a feel for
the architecture and setting of the play. It's been
ridiculously tepid here. The sun was actually out for
most of my walk, with temps pushing the mid 50's.
I'll meet with the designers (costumes and set) on
Tuesday, and table rehearsals begin next Sunday.
Won't get on it's feet, probably, until the week of
the 20th.
I'm still working the first gig, but this week is largely tech oriented, and since this production has been done so many times, tech rehearsals hold little surprise for most of us. The actors are new to it, though, but 3 of them have done our productions before, and one guy has done this show too many times to count.
I miss my girls. I speak with Jo daily, and I'm glad we do talk, but sometimes I want to reach over and stroke her hair or watch her smile, and a cell phone is a poor substitute. I also feel like I'm missing out on huge chunks of the kids' lives. I'm not (I don't think...) but I've grown to like being a 'parent' and all the stuff that goes with it, and I love them.
Hugs. That's what I miss: hugs. They're a huggable trio. No half-hearted, arm-kind-of-around-the-shoulder hugs...these are full on, lung-crushing, body squeezes. Yup...a guy gets used to that.
On a personal note: Hang in there, Bear. I love you, too.
I'm still working the first gig, but this week is largely tech oriented, and since this production has been done so many times, tech rehearsals hold little surprise for most of us. The actors are new to it, though, but 3 of them have done our productions before, and one guy has done this show too many times to count.
I miss my girls. I speak with Jo daily, and I'm glad we do talk, but sometimes I want to reach over and stroke her hair or watch her smile, and a cell phone is a poor substitute. I also feel like I'm missing out on huge chunks of the kids' lives. I'm not (I don't think...) but I've grown to like being a 'parent' and all the stuff that goes with it, and I love them.
Hugs. That's what I miss: hugs. They're a huggable trio. No half-hearted, arm-kind-of-around-the-shoulder hugs...these are full on, lung-crushing, body squeezes. Yup...a guy gets used to that.
On a personal note: Hang in there, Bear. I love you, too.
A Gentle Reminder
12/17/05
Planning to take the subway? Good for you. Mass
transit benefits us all. Keep in mind, however, that
admission to New York's underground transit system
requires a MetroCard for access. Oh, you already have
one, you say? Again, good for you. It's helpful to
remember that you should have your MetroCard within
easy access before you approach the turnstile,
especially if you're traveling at busy times, say,
morning and evening rush hours.
Otherwise, you will stand at the turnstile, loaded with your shopping bags and your puffy coat with the wonky zipper, and you will search EVERY POCKET for your MetroCard while denying access to the platform and the approaching train several hundred people, all of whom REALIZED THEY WERE TAKING SUBWAY AND ALREADY HAVE THEIR METROCARDS IN HAND.
This reminder also applies to use of New York's many buses. You may find it helpful, during your twenty five minute wait in the pouring rain, to use that time to search your person for the MetroCard so that it is ready to swipe through the card reader as soon as you step onto the bus. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE ON THE BUS TO SEARCH FOR YOUR METROCARD.
Oh, and that cell phone that you have? You may want to practice walking and talking before joining the pedestrian stream on one of New York's many streets. That pedestrian stream has places to go, people to see, trains to catch, and it does not appreciate that YOU CANNOT SEEM TO TALK ON YOUR CELL AND WALK FASTER THAN THE AVERAGE SNAIL.
Showing your friends the many sights New York has to offer? Tourism is great for the economy. Thank you. Please be aware that many of New York's sidewalks are narrow and fraught with impediments such as fire hydrants, news stands, overflowing trash cans, homeless people, and illogically placed signage, and that really, all of us will appreciate it if you and your friends/aged parents/cousins/johns DO NOT WALK FOUR ABREAST in front of us.
And, to answer your questions:
This park, as the sign says, is Bryant Park. Central Park is uptown several blocks, and is much, much larger.
No, I do not have a quarter.
No, they are not made from actual dogs. The sausage, however, is authentic 'track rabbit'.
Yes, anywhere on 42nd Street west of 8th.
Um. No. Ewww. But thanks for the offer.
Otherwise, you will stand at the turnstile, loaded with your shopping bags and your puffy coat with the wonky zipper, and you will search EVERY POCKET for your MetroCard while denying access to the platform and the approaching train several hundred people, all of whom REALIZED THEY WERE TAKING SUBWAY AND ALREADY HAVE THEIR METROCARDS IN HAND.
This reminder also applies to use of New York's many buses. You may find it helpful, during your twenty five minute wait in the pouring rain, to use that time to search your person for the MetroCard so that it is ready to swipe through the card reader as soon as you step onto the bus. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE ON THE BUS TO SEARCH FOR YOUR METROCARD.
Oh, and that cell phone that you have? You may want to practice walking and talking before joining the pedestrian stream on one of New York's many streets. That pedestrian stream has places to go, people to see, trains to catch, and it does not appreciate that YOU CANNOT SEEM TO TALK ON YOUR CELL AND WALK FASTER THAN THE AVERAGE SNAIL.
Showing your friends the many sights New York has to offer? Tourism is great for the economy. Thank you. Please be aware that many of New York's sidewalks are narrow and fraught with impediments such as fire hydrants, news stands, overflowing trash cans, homeless people, and illogically placed signage, and that really, all of us will appreciate it if you and your friends/aged parents/cousins/johns DO NOT WALK FOUR ABREAST in front of us.
And, to answer your questions:
This park, as the sign says, is Bryant Park. Central Park is uptown several blocks, and is much, much larger.
No, I do not have a quarter.
No, they are not made from actual dogs. The sausage, however, is authentic 'track rabbit'.
Yes, anywhere on 42nd Street west of 8th.
Um. No. Ewww. But thanks for the offer.
Cleaning Up
11/26/05
Why Fred Bassett?
03/25/05
When I was a kid, we had a Bassett Hound named Molly.
She was an agreeable dog, generally, though like all
hounds, she tended to vocalize too much. But she was
endearing just the same, droopy ears and slobbery
jowls included, loyal, kind...with the exception of
the time that she snapped at the neighbor girl's
face...and she lived a long life, and I think, a good
one.
I read the newspaper every day, and part of that ritual is the comics. The 'funny' pages usually aren't so funny, but it's cumbersome to call them the 'occasionally lightly amusing' pages. Included in this 2 page spread is a strip called 'Fred Bassett'. I have had ol' Fred delivered to me for years, in different cities, in different papers, and my question is: Why? Why Fred Bassett? There are certainly several moronic “comic” strips, to be sure, but Fred Bassett isn't one of them. Fred Bassett is dull. Supremely dull. Majestically dull, even. I have never cracked a smile at Fred Bassett. Fred Bassett resembles no Bassett Hound that I know, now or in the past. And Fred's insipid owners, with their bird watching and tea sets and walking sticks and stupid caps are even duller than Fred Bassett himself.
How did this come to be? Who at the syndicate is responsible for this, and who at all of those papers finds Fred Bassett amusing, or gods forbid, funny? Beetle Bailey, on his worst day, is Jim Carrey compared to Fred Bassett. Just stop with the Fred Bassett already. And take Funky Winkerbean with you.
I read the newspaper every day, and part of that ritual is the comics. The 'funny' pages usually aren't so funny, but it's cumbersome to call them the 'occasionally lightly amusing' pages. Included in this 2 page spread is a strip called 'Fred Bassett'. I have had ol' Fred delivered to me for years, in different cities, in different papers, and my question is: Why? Why Fred Bassett? There are certainly several moronic “comic” strips, to be sure, but Fred Bassett isn't one of them. Fred Bassett is dull. Supremely dull. Majestically dull, even. I have never cracked a smile at Fred Bassett. Fred Bassett resembles no Bassett Hound that I know, now or in the past. And Fred's insipid owners, with their bird watching and tea sets and walking sticks and stupid caps are even duller than Fred Bassett himself.
How did this come to be? Who at the syndicate is responsible for this, and who at all of those papers finds Fred Bassett amusing, or gods forbid, funny? Beetle Bailey, on his worst day, is Jim Carrey compared to Fred Bassett. Just stop with the Fred Bassett already. And take Funky Winkerbean with you.
Let Me Make This Clear
04/13/04
Don(t) Rickles
11/01/03
This post on Universal
Rule:
This generic joke came from a colleague who tried to be politically correct:
Q: How many people belonging to a certain ethnic group does it take to perform a particular menial activity?
A: A finite positive integer. One to perform the activity, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical of their ethnic group!
I hope this was not too offensive.
This generic joke came from a colleague who tried to be politically correct:
Q: How many people belonging to a certain ethnic group does it take to perform a particular menial activity?
A: A finite positive integer. One to perform the activity, and the rest to behave in a manner stereotypical of their ethnic group!
I hope this was not too offensive.
Food For Thought #1
10/26/03
Depending on my mood, the answers change, but this is
what they are today:
1. What is your favorite word?
Albatross
2. What is your least favorite word?
Vomit
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Improvisation, meditation, acceptance
4. What turns you off?
Rudeness
5. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love?
Summer Rainstorms
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Faulty Mufflers
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Sculptor
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Surgeon
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear "God" say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You're early...Come back later.
And what about you? Feel free to embellish your responses.
1. What is your favorite word?
Albatross
2. What is your least favorite word?
Vomit
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Improvisation, meditation, acceptance
4. What turns you off?
Rudeness
5. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck
6. What sound or noise do you love?
Summer Rainstorms
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Faulty Mufflers
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Sculptor
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Surgeon
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear "God" say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You're early...Come back later.
And what about you? Feel free to embellish your responses.
How's That Search workin' Out For Ya?
10/24/03
I'm amazed that O.J.
Simpson still has not, apparently, found the real
killers...or if he has, somebody's keepin' it hush
hush.
I know, I know. All the tourists and police activity and the passage of time has spoiled what was once a pristine crime scene, and the world has moved on to other, more pressing, topics. But I can't help thinking that the answer to the riddle is just around the corner. Maybe, just maybe, if we all could - oh, I dunno - pitch in for one weekend a month or something, sort of like a Private Eye National Guard, we could find the evildoer(s).
Who's with me?
Or we could golf.
I know, I know. All the tourists and police activity and the passage of time has spoiled what was once a pristine crime scene, and the world has moved on to other, more pressing, topics. But I can't help thinking that the answer to the riddle is just around the corner. Maybe, just maybe, if we all could - oh, I dunno - pitch in for one weekend a month or something, sort of like a Private Eye National Guard, we could find the evildoer(s).
Who's with me?
Or we could golf.
This Is Just So Unexpected
10/21/03
The Associated Press reports
David Gest Sues Liza Minnelli for $10M.
I recall just a few months ago how much in love these two kids were. It's a damn shame, I tell ya.
Did they not have the traditional "If anyone present knows of any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now..."? Surely somebody would've spoken up. Maybe not Michael Jackson, or Elizabeth Taylor, or even Barbara Walters, but why oh why would David Hasselhoff keep his trap shut?
Oh, wait...that's right: EVERYBODY was too busy stifling guffaws to protest anything.
I can't wait for the movie.
"Producer David Gest sued Liza Minnelli for $10 million Tuesday, accusing his estranged wife of alcohol-fueled violence that caused neurological damage and headaches. Gest, 50, alleges in court papers that Minnelli, 57, flew into drunken rages on several occasions on both sides of the Atlantic, insulting and striking him......"
I recall just a few months ago how much in love these two kids were. It's a damn shame, I tell ya.
Did they not have the traditional "If anyone present knows of any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now..."? Surely somebody would've spoken up. Maybe not Michael Jackson, or Elizabeth Taylor, or even Barbara Walters, but why oh why would David Hasselhoff keep his trap shut?
Oh, wait...that's right: EVERYBODY was too busy stifling guffaws to protest anything.
I can't wait for the movie.
