Things On My Mind, Part 4
• I’ve been mulling over my Winter Sporting Event Entertainment Options. Since I’m spending many of my days uptown, a mere two blocks from the arena, I can–if I so choose–attend minor league hockey and major league basketball games without having to pay for parking. Football tickets are not in the picture. How anybody can afford to attend NFL games is beyond me. Hockey tickets are easy to come by and no real drain on the wallet, and I can easily get seats at the glass on the Blue Line for most games, but good basketball seats are another animal entirely. Time Warner Cable Arena is not like the old LA Sports Arena, where one could pay $10 for corner nosebleed seats, but move down several sections when the crowd realized they were watching the Clippers. And though these Bobcats have been Clipper-like in the win column during their brief history, the NBA has changed. Now $10 will get you in the door, but when you do get your corner nosebleed seat, heavily armed security makes sure you stay in your assigned section. Unless you go to the loo, or the concession area. And there’s the answer: Restrooms and concessions are located several times closer to the action than the cheap seats. If one doesn’t mind standing around the nacho stand, one can generally have a good view of the action from the eateries. I don’t know that I’d want to make a habit of it, but security isn’t going to hassle you if you’re spending money on over-priced hot dogs or chowing on same while standing at the rail.
• We seem to have acquired another cat, though not officially. Another male tabby, but larger than any of ours, has been visiting regularly, acting as if he owns the joint. He and Binx got into it last week, and Binx was limping around for a few days, but now seems resigned to being Alpha Cat Emeritus. The new male, whom I’ve dubbed Wannabe, bears a striking resemblance to our Sophie, so much so that each of the girls at least once have let him in the house, mistakenly believing him at first glance to be Sophie. This confuses the other cats, but both Twidge and Cisco appear fascinated by him and follow him at a safe distance to see what he’s getting up to. And when I pulled in the driveway tonight, there was Wannabe trotting up behind the car to greet me. My hope is that he’ll be enough of a presence to ward off the other random one that comes around, the mysterious round-headed black cat. With whom Binx, of course, had a major tussle this morning.
• Bob, I agree that Gladiator vs the Mannings is a million dollar idea. Unfortunately, the medical expenses would exceed a million easily. Puppets, man...think of something with puppets. People fuckin LOVE puppets.
Now That's Comedy!
Baron Davis opts out
of his Golden State Warriors
contract to join
Chris Kaman, Corey Magette, and Elton Brand in Los
Angeles, setting the stage for a new era in
Clipper land. Magette
then takes a huge offer from the Warriors, leaving
LA behind. Brand, one of the league’s most sought
after free agents, assures Los Angeles fans that
he wants to “end my career as a Clipper.” Turns
out, he meant just that: Brand will sign with
the Philadelphia 76ers
for
82 million. Kaman and Davis must be reeling right
now.
I'm Happy To Be Wrong
Yes, I expected the Lakers to take this series in
five games. I didn’t give enough credit to the
amazing transforming men in green and their
astounding bench.
When I lived in Los Angeles, I accepted the Lakers as
the hometown team, but I was always uneasy with the
fanatic and frenetic support they received from the
citizenry. I detested Riley’s Gordon Gekko hair and
demeanor, I admired Magic Johnson, but found his
persona cloying, and the air of entitlement that the
team exhibited was off-putting. And I could never get
tickets. The Forum was routinely sold out, even the
nosebleed seats.
When the Clippers hit town in ’84, I became a fan of
the Worst Franchise In Professional Sports. They put
some truly awful teams on the floor in those days
(and in the years since) but they played in the
decrepit Sports Arena. And they were fun to watch, in
a train wreck sort of way. Because the Sports Arena
never sold out, you could buy cheap tickets and move
down to watch great basketball played by their
opponents. True, you had to put up with Billy
Crystal, but you could get in. Now of course, both LA
teams share the Staples Center (though the Lakers, as
the ‘senior tennant’, have much better locker room
facilities than the Clips.)
The Lakers will be back to the finals soon, I’m sure.
Despite the horrendous series that Bryant had, and
the complete lack of bench support, they will return.
I will hate them still.
I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Boston over the
past few years, and I’d notice that while you could
buy Patriots gear in any store, and Red Sox gear on
any corner, Celtic hats , sweats, tees, and jerseys
were rare to the point of extinction. Some places did
carry the stuff, but it wasn’t on display. You had to
ask for it, as if you were buying pornography or fire
arms. I’m certain that’s changed this year. Good on
ya, Celtics.
Now, these photos, eerily similar:
My Prediction
... of a Lakers win in 5 games, in retrospect, was
hasty and ill-considered. Mr. Leon Powe has shown me
the error of my ways.
That said, the C’s still need to take at least one
game at Staples Center, and that’s a tough room.
When the Lakers play, I mean. Not so much when the
Clippers are in residence.
Because I Don't Know Nuthin'
The Spurs are done.
Even though I really enjoy
watching McDyess...
The Celtics will take the East in
7.
The Lakers, it truly pains me to
say, will win the finals in 5.
Arlen Specter: Asshat
Senator Specter is "incensed" about the NFL's Spygate (non) scandal: Apparently, soaring oil prices, war, economic uncertainty, a presidential election, and his own fight against recurring cancer just aren't enough to fill his plate. He has to defend the honor of the Pittsburgh Steelers.
The Pennsylvania Republican was unforgiving of his criticism of NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, saying that Goodell has made “ridiculous” assertions that wouldn’t fly “in kindergarten.” The Senator said Goodell was caught in an “apparent conflict of interest” because the NFL doesn’t want the public to lose confidence in the league’s integrity. “They are enormous role models for everybody,” Specter said. “If you can cheat in the NFL, you can cheat in college, you can cheat in high school, you can cheat on your grade-school math test. There’s no limit as to what you can do. I think they owe the public a lot more candor and a lot more credibility.”
If he really wants to involve himself in NFL business, maybe he could get a law passed banning Bill Belichick's ratty sweatshirts.
Kickin Ice
Nearly every Checkers game has some sort of theme or promotion, and tonight was "Thirsty Thursday", which I think is a two for one beer deal, enabling the many bankers who work uptown to come to the game and get buzzed for half price. Were I a drinker, it would've been a good deal, but I settled for some popcorn and soda. Aside from a couple of goofballs who settled in behind us during the second period, we didn't encounter any untoward behavior, though a guy on the other side of the ice was escorted out by security, which was documented on the jumbotron and seemed to be at least as interesting to the crowd as was the game.
Friday night's big promo is the unveiling of the new Checkers logo. It's felt that the current image is too 'soft', I guess. The team name is a nod to the NASCAR crowd (for the checkered flag that is waved for auto racing), but the mascot, as you can see above, is a cartoon polar bear. A polar bear named Chubby. Chubby Checker. (Yes, The Twist is played at least once during each game.) To my knowledge, polar bears aren't native to North Carolina, and another team in the league, The Alaska Aces, also use a polar bear as their mascot, and Polar Bears have been sighted in Alaska fairly regularly. So, will the new logo somehow reflect the auto-centric culture of the area? A Cars-like mascot? We'll see.
Friday update: Nope. Meet the new Charlotte Checkers logo:
And, for reference, The Alaska Aces logo:
Hmmm. Sort of city mouse/country mouse, if you ask me.
I wonder if the Checkers will alter the mascot outfit, which reminds me of one the Banana Splits suits I wore in my first job years ago at Kings Island? (Ugh. I just looked at the Kings Island site. Understandably, the place has changed so much in 30 years. I doubt I'd recognize it.)
Chubby Checker
Bingo, Snorky, Fleegle, Drooper (seated)
For the record, though not in this publicity still, I was Drooper the Lion. And years later, when I was doing The Adventures of Doc Savage radio series, I worked with Robert Towers, who was inside the Snorky costume for the original series in the late 60's.
Argh
Result: Cincinnati 13, San Francisco 20.
The game gives the Bengals their first losing season under Marvin Lewis, who maybe should've stayed a defensive coordinator.
One Series Down, One to Go
The President must be very proud.
The Ducks did it with the support of these folks, The Power Play.
It turns out that the Ottawa Senators, recently returned to the NHL, forgot to hire a similar group.
So, the fans had to watch hockey instead.
Now it's on to the NBA Finals. As luck would have it, both teams have seen the error of the Senators' ways and have employed their own secret weapons for this contest. First, Western Conference Champs, the San Antonio Spurs:
The Silver Dancers, in this photo anyway, look like refugees from the IceCapades.
Eastern Conference Champs, the Cleveland Cavaliers, have to work harder because...well, because they're in Cleveland.
The dance team doesn't appear to have a clever moniker of their own, going by the collective name of 'Cavalier Girls".
They also don't appear to have access to much clothing.
My prediction: Spurs in 6.
But the Silver Dancers will be knocked out in 3.
Here's His Problem
Chad has agents. They must do everything in their power to get the NFL to remove every picture of Chad looking like a goofball, and replace them with one of him looking like an actual Professional Football Player.
tagged
Pennington,
New York Jets
Who Dey
Well, we know who dey aint:
Dey ain't the guys that protected a 440 yard, 3 TD, no INT passing game by Carson Palmer.
Dey ain't the guys that protected Chad Johnson's team record 260 yard, 2 TD effort.
Dey ain't in first place.
Dey ain't gonna make the playoffs.
The Bengals' D has got some splainin' to do.
Get your very own Who Dey Shirt
at
Amazon.
Custody Battle
Phoenix, AZ:
A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Phoenix courtroom drama last week when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Arizona Cardinals, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
Thanks for the heads up, Mark!
Christmas Present, Christmas Coal
Today Miami, Tomorrow The World
Stan Van Gundy and Pat Riley at the press conference announcing Stan's resignation and Riley's return to the coaching spot he once forsook in favor of Stan.
Lemme ask you this, reader:
Does Stan look like he wants to do this? Is that the face of a man who wants to spend time with his family, just when Shaq will return from IR, and Ron Artest is being shopped by the Pacers?
And check out Riley's expression; the stiff necked downward glance, checking to see that the good soldier is still in lockstep, still muttering "Ja, Mein Fürher."
Stat Of The Night
Vince, Jason, and The Veal...Live!
Trust me... the seats were really, really good.
I'd never seen Vince Carter live. When he's cooking,
you can't stop him. He made Brian Scalabrine look
like Scottie Pippen a couple of times. And Jason Kidd
was on the verge of a triple-double when he sat down,
Actually, both he and Carter rode the bench for the
last quarter, leaving clean up to the likes of Zoran
Planinic, who had a nice game, and Cliff Robinson,
who seemed lost.
Thanks Mark!
Kurt Thomas Is Still Standing In Blue & Orange
Looking forward to having Malik on the squad, and Mo Taylor, too. And unloading Vin Baker was the right thing to do....but a true center is still needed, there are one too many forwards, and I'm having a hard time getting past Steph's middling production.
George Shinn is a class act: He trades Rodney Rogers to the Sixers this afternoon, then flies Rodney to NY on the private jet so Rogers can play against the Knicks tonight. (Well, either classy or really in a hurry to get rid of the guy.)
And They Very Nearly Blew It
I've been too distracted to post much recently, but I'll be updating later in the week. Oh, yeah: Ron Artest is still an idiot.
Bad News For Kerry Collins
And talking of Palmer: Jesse Palmer. The Giants execs are reportedly none too happy that he did that TV dating show. "You wanna play football, or you wanna be a TV pretty boy?" It worked for Joe Namath, but Jesse Palmer is no Joe Namath. Hell, he's not even Akili Smith at this point.
So where does Collins go? Well, other aging QB's have done well in Oakland. And, really, Arizona shouldn't rely on Jeff Blake Josh McCown to get it done.
No Sapp
Warren still has a few years in him, and would've been an interesting addition to the Bengal defense. BUT: He's a known malcontent, he stirs up controversy for its own sake, and his numbers ain't what they used to be. I don't doubt he would've jump started some games, lit a fire under some teammates, garnered a lot of ink, brought some respect to the lowly orange and black. He'll do as much for the Raiders. I don't think, however, that he is worth a 4 year deal, let alone a 7 year contract.
And lets face it: The Bengals are getting rid of one 'difficult' player in Corey Dillon (rumored to be traded to the same Oakland Raiders). They certainly didn't need another one in Warren Sapp, and for mouthing-off purposes, they already locked in Chad Johnson for 5 years.
Oh, and: The Knicks blow it big time to the Bulls. Jeebus wept: The Bulls.
The Knicks Get Deeper
Basketball is a punishing sport. Six weeks is just too soon to return, particularly when one is changing surroundings as well as altering basic behavior. I hope that he can keep it together, but I have doubts that he's really serious about his recovery.
Milwaukee Dreams
Given my history, you'd think I would've been conflicted about this game. And you'd be right. I mean, the Clips have seemed on the edge of emergence for a few years, always winning just enough tough games to generate "what if" scenarios from their fan. Fans. But they swoon, mostly sooner than later. Swoon isn't the right word, either. They crash, usually in a tangle of limbs and flames and twisted metal that you can't help but watch and think that the league really ought to stop this madness. Even with Elton Brand locked into a long-term contract, they're going to be the Western Conference Washington Generals for the foreseeable future.
The Knicks, on the other hand, are a proud, storied franchise that lost it's way in the last few seasons. Bad management, sub-par bench, questionable coaching all added up to a so-so team that didn't seem to have the inclination to be spectacular, or really even competitive. But Isiah was getting them on the right track. Was. The trade of Keith Van Horn to The Milwaukee Bucks for under-achiever Tim Thomas may have been one trade too many. Tim has shown flashes of what he can be, but he's had only one outstanding game. Van Horn got over the early season Garden jitters quickly and was becoming the kind of player every team needs: a solid, intelligent, generous team player who was good for 20+ most games. The Knicks will regret the trade in the long run.
So, yes. I was conflicted. Who disgusts me more: The Clippers or The Knicks? Right now, it's a tie.
Raiders Hire...Norv Turner?
This Is The New Look Knicks?
Okay, I understand that Steph just got here and doesn't know the offense. But, man: He clocked the most court time of anybody in the game, and comes up with 6 points. SIX! That's 1 bucket every 13.6 minutes. By contrast, Francis had 27 in 40 minutes.
Marbury also had 10 assists, so he was doling it out anyway. Van Horn gets 17 points, 11 boards, and 1 assist. Moochie and Shandon Anderson had 17 and 11, but the Rockets had six players in double digits.
Stephon Marbury is - eventually - going to be great for New York, but it's gonna be bumpy for a while.
We're Not The Worst, We're Not The Worst
The Knicks seem to have become energized by the addition of Isiah Thomas to the front office and have won 4 straight games. They also got rid of Clarence Weatherspoon in exchange for Moochie Norris in a deal with The Rockets. Now if Isiah can find somebody to unload Eisley and Anderson on, the Knickerbockers may be on a upswing. Too many point guards, but Frank Williams looks solid and occasionally brilliant in his new starter role, and Charlie Ward may be next on the trading block.
Christmas was fun and low-key, enough loot all around but not enough to be overkill. I emailed a bunch of friends the Official Holiday Card, and I heard back from many of them. I now have to get around to replying to those messages...(If you didn't receive the Official Holiday Card, it may be that Chet the intern doesn't have your proper address in the database. He's new, after all, so I cut him some slack. Help him out...Even if you think we have your email address, we may not, so drop a line in our ebox.)
More Proof That Hell Is A Bit On The Chilly Side
Corey Dillon was all but forgotten, along with the last 12 years of Bengals follies. Dillon wasn't even in the stadium Sunday as his downtrodden team pulled off a reputation-changing win. Jon Kitna's 53-yard touchdown pass to Chad Johnson and two tipped interceptions gave Cincinnati a 27-24 victory over the Seattle Seahawks. With their first win over a top-notch team, the Bengals (3-4) proved they're no longer dreadful and no longer dependent upon one moody running back. ``We believed we were going to win this game,'' offensive tackle Willie Anderson said. ``This is a new team.''
I admit it. I am a Bengals fan. I can remember going to UC's Nippert Stadium with my family to watch them play in the years before old Riverfront Stadium was built. I know who Greg Cook and John Stofa are. I still resent Dave Shula, and admire Sam Wyche, Bob Johnson, Boobie Clark, and even Virgil Carter. And I was ridiculously happy during their two Super Bowl seasons, and I still bear a grudge against the 49ers. And I have endured the past twelve seasons with a mixture of humiliation, gallows humor, genuine anger, and a low-grade fever. I don't know if they can keep this up...and since they're the Bengals, there's a good chance they won't...but it's good to see a bit of light at the end of a very long tunnel.
