Balderdash
Tchaikovsky and Pushkin
02/26/07
Saturday afternoon was spent in the Russian
countryside, courtesy of The Metropolitan Opera's
production of Eugene Onegin.
I've never been to the Met (well, not inside for
an opera, anyway), but this was the next best
thing. Hi Def video feed from New York as part of
the "Metroplitan Opera Goes To The Movies" Series,
direct to our local cinema. Renée Fleming was
inspiring as Tatiana, the spurned country girl who
becomes a princess. I enjoyed the performances of
Elena Zaremba as Olga and Ramón Vargas as the
doomed Lenski, but
baritone Dmitri Hvorostovsky as Onegin, while very,
very good, bears more than a passing resemblance to a
mix of Chad Everett and Tom Wopat, and I had a
difficult time getting past it.
The introduction was by Mikhail
Baryshnikov, and intermission 'sideline
interviews' with the stars by Beverly Sills,
who once again proved why her nickname is
'Bubbles'. I do wish that Conductor Valery
Gergiev had bothered to shave for the event.
Stubble is forgivable on a younger guy. On a
man of Gergiev's age, it crossed over into
'grizzled'.
The introduction was by Mikhail
Baryshnikov, and intermission 'sideline
interviews' with the stars by Beverly Sills,
who once again proved why her nickname is
'Bubbles'. I do wish that Conductor Valery
Gergiev had bothered to shave for the event.
Stubble is forgivable on a younger guy. On a
man of Gergiev's age, it crossed over into
'grizzled'.
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More Swag
02/01/07
So, remember when all y'all were whining about the paltry selection of goodies available?
"Please, man...I so want to commemorate my visit to your site by purchasing some trinket or piece of clothing, but all you're pushing is books, movies, music, and iPods....What's up with that? Everybody else and their brother have this stuff for sale. Get on it, dude!"
Sound familiar? (Yes, I'm talking to you, T.) Alright, so check it out. Click the picture. And don't say I never sold you anything. Dig?
Note: We're hosting
this a CafePress for now. If there are enough sales,
maybe we'll bring it into the fold on these
pages.
Sluggers
01/25/07
I don't know why this hadn't occurred to me until
this morning: Among the tens of visitors to this
site, two of my favorites reside in the fair city of
Louisville, KY. And they don't know each other.
So...Bob, meet Al. Al, Bob.
Other news of note: I'll be visiting the old haunts in New York next month. Perhaps we can get together and I can watch you drink.
Other news of note: I'll be visiting the old haunts in New York next month. Perhaps we can get together and I can watch you drink.
AA: Alcoholic Announcements
12/03/06
So Lindsay Lohan is attending AA
meetings. Good for her.
But.
She needs to fire her publicist, who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of that second A.
The publicist could've confirm that Lohan is "seeking treatment" or has "enrolled in Alcohol counseling". Those phrases would've tipped us off that young Missy has acknowledged that there may be a problem, without bringing packs of papparazzi to camp outside of every AA meeting in the Greater Los Angeles area. Those photographers, in their quest to get that golden shot of Lindsay, with or without panties, will snap pictures of some people entering or leaving the meetings who truly wish to be 'A', and that's a shame; those people may not return to get the help they need because they feel that their anonymity, the very foundation of AA, has been compromised.
It would be a different story if Lohan herself issued a statement after attending what is known as a 30/30 or a 60/60 and had a chance to work the program and see results.
But.
She needs to fire her publicist, who doesn't seem to understand the meaning of that second A.
The publicist could've confirm that Lohan is "seeking treatment" or has "enrolled in Alcohol counseling". Those phrases would've tipped us off that young Missy has acknowledged that there may be a problem, without bringing packs of papparazzi to camp outside of every AA meeting in the Greater Los Angeles area. Those photographers, in their quest to get that golden shot of Lindsay, with or without panties, will snap pictures of some people entering or leaving the meetings who truly wish to be 'A', and that's a shame; those people may not return to get the help they need because they feel that their anonymity, the very foundation of AA, has been compromised.
It would be a different story if Lohan herself issued a statement after attending what is known as a 30/30 or a 60/60 and had a chance to work the program and see results.
Just For The Hell Of It...
11/24/06
...I'm thinking of joining in the lawsuits that are
brewing against Borat (also here, here , and here).
Yes, it sucks to be made out a fool, but at least it's a comedy, and the 'victims' did sign waivers. Y'know...a contract.
I signed a contract when I made Cold Fire. Frankly, it's an awful way to spend a couple of hours, and I'm surprised that audiences didn't storm the video stores demanding their money back (and damages for pain and suffering) but...I signed a contract, and I've taken my lumps ever since.
Borat
Yes, it sucks to be made out a fool, but at least it's a comedy, and the 'victims' did sign waivers. Y'know...a contract.
I signed a contract when I made Cold Fire. Frankly, it's an awful way to spend a couple of hours, and I'm surprised that audiences didn't storm the video stores demanding their money back (and damages for pain and suffering) but...I signed a contract, and I've taken my lumps ever since.
BoratSuch A Deal
11/15/06
So, what's up with all the ads on this site, anyway?
Here's the thing: I'm experimenting with 'monetizing'
the web site, because...um...hosting fees don't grow
on trees. (I wish. The new neighborhood has tons of
trees but not a one, as far as I can tell, is a money
tree.)
Direct your attention, please, to the column at the right side of the page. There are a few ads there, yes. Ads for items I own, for services I've used, for vendors I've purchased from. (Also there are text ads just above the 'links' section. According to my agreement with the kind folks who provided those, I'm forbidden from asking you to click them. You're just supposed to discover them on your own...)
If you follow the links from ads on this site and make a purchase, douglascoler.com will receive a small percentage of that purchase as a commission. Good deal for me, virtually painless for you, win-win all around. The new Schwag Shop section of this site also has handy Amazon links to a few select items. And if you're going to shop at Amazon or the Apple Store or the iTunes Store anyway, please do start from my site.
I'm open to suggestions for other products and services to advertise here. If there's something that you've purchased, or a service you've used that just was the bee's knees, let me know and I'll have my crack research staff check it out.
By the way, the 10% off at Dr. Emu is good through November only.
I'm just sayin'
Direct your attention, please, to the column at the right side of the page. There are a few ads there, yes. Ads for items I own, for services I've used, for vendors I've purchased from. (Also there are text ads just above the 'links' section. According to my agreement with the kind folks who provided those, I'm forbidden from asking you to click them. You're just supposed to discover them on your own...)
If you follow the links from ads on this site and make a purchase, douglascoler.com will receive a small percentage of that purchase as a commission. Good deal for me, virtually painless for you, win-win all around. The new Schwag Shop section of this site also has handy Amazon links to a few select items. And if you're going to shop at Amazon or the Apple Store or the iTunes Store anyway, please do start from my site.
I'm open to suggestions for other products and services to advertise here. If there's something that you've purchased, or a service you've used that just was the bee's knees, let me know and I'll have my crack research staff check it out.
By the way, the 10% off at Dr. Emu is good through November only.
I'm just sayin'
How We Changed The World: A Halloween Memory
10/28/06
When I was a kid in Cincinnati, Ohio, the community
somehow got the idea that it would be best if
children weren't running around in the dark wearing
disguises, what with The Boston Strangler killing
people in Massachusetts and all. How that figured
into it, I don't know...maybe there were other
circumstances, but I remember the Boston Strangler
being at least part of the excuse. So, Halloween was
transformed into a daylight activity. Yep:
No house to house begging after dark. And if the 31st
fell on a weekday, we had to do this on the closest
Saturday. If your idea of Halloween was toddlers in
bunny costumes and babies dressed as puppies and
fairies or something, then yes, this was just dandy,
but I was old enough to want the scary part. (In
principle, of course: My older brother and sister
routinely scared the crap out of me and I screamed
myself into hysteria.)
After a couple of years, though, as the 'novelty' of parading around in broad daylight dressed as a Dead Guy or Batman or King Kong began to wear thin, my neighbor Dickie from 3 streets over decided he'd had enough. He organized a protest, because it was the era of protests and the man was keepin' us down. There we were, a bunch of little kids, maybe 7 or 10 of us in all, marching around in a circle with our cardboard signs painted with slogans and chanting "Halloween At Night! Halloween at Night!!". We were a site to behold. We were a force to be reckoned with, we would not be denied our right to an October 31 after dark trick-or-treat experience. Did this protest happen at City Hall, at the very steps of power, in front of the city manager's office? No. Did it happen at our town center, where Miami Avenue crossed the railroad tracks? No. This determined mob of children marched and protested in front of Dickie's house, where we were certain to be seen by all of 3 cars, none of which were driven by 'the man'. We were doomed to failure. But....
Dig it: Dickie's dad called the TV stations, and Channel 9 sent a truck and a cameraman and a reporter. Channel 9 showed up to tape footage of our band of tiny militants. Channel 9! The same station that showed Uncle Al and Captain Windy every morning! Channel 9! The Big Time!! In households across the Greater Cincinnati area (which included Northern Kentucky and SouthEastern Indiana), families sat slack-jawed in awe as we delivered our powerful message. "Halloween At Night!" We had staged a protest rally, we had gotten through to the masses! Our collective cry for justice would turn the people against their harsh masters and we would win the day! It was exhilarating.
It was also unsuccessful. If we had staged the rally at a better time, perhaps the outcome would've been different, but the intricacies of local government are often lost on children, no matter the strength of their convictions. Our protest took place a few days before Halloween, not nearly enough time to allow for the debate and review of such a polarizing issue. We endured yet another Daylight Halloween. We had planted the seeds of dissent, though, and a generation of children in the North Eastern suburbs of Cincinnati have us to thank for Halloween At Night.
After a couple of years, though, as the 'novelty' of parading around in broad daylight dressed as a Dead Guy or Batman or King Kong began to wear thin, my neighbor Dickie from 3 streets over decided he'd had enough. He organized a protest, because it was the era of protests and the man was keepin' us down. There we were, a bunch of little kids, maybe 7 or 10 of us in all, marching around in a circle with our cardboard signs painted with slogans and chanting "Halloween At Night! Halloween at Night!!". We were a site to behold. We were a force to be reckoned with, we would not be denied our right to an October 31 after dark trick-or-treat experience. Did this protest happen at City Hall, at the very steps of power, in front of the city manager's office? No. Did it happen at our town center, where Miami Avenue crossed the railroad tracks? No. This determined mob of children marched and protested in front of Dickie's house, where we were certain to be seen by all of 3 cars, none of which were driven by 'the man'. We were doomed to failure. But....
Dig it: Dickie's dad called the TV stations, and Channel 9 sent a truck and a cameraman and a reporter. Channel 9 showed up to tape footage of our band of tiny militants. Channel 9! The same station that showed Uncle Al and Captain Windy every morning! Channel 9! The Big Time!! In households across the Greater Cincinnati area (which included Northern Kentucky and SouthEastern Indiana), families sat slack-jawed in awe as we delivered our powerful message. "Halloween At Night!" We had staged a protest rally, we had gotten through to the masses! Our collective cry for justice would turn the people against their harsh masters and we would win the day! It was exhilarating.
It was also unsuccessful. If we had staged the rally at a better time, perhaps the outcome would've been different, but the intricacies of local government are often lost on children, no matter the strength of their convictions. Our protest took place a few days before Halloween, not nearly enough time to allow for the debate and review of such a polarizing issue. We endured yet another Daylight Halloween. We had planted the seeds of dissent, though, and a generation of children in the North Eastern suburbs of Cincinnati have us to thank for Halloween At Night.
Cold Cream Not Included
10/27/06
This is the result of a 2 hour session with a make-up artist from Universal Studios (who hold the copyright on the Lon Chaney, Jr. Wolfman make-up created by Jack Pierce). I was part of a special Halloween Show at The Variety Arts Center, my place of employment -and my favorite watering hole - in those days. As I recall, Ginny D'Auria was in full green Witch regalia and together we sang "By The Light Of The Silvery Moon". Or rather, Ginny sang. I sort of howled along, sometimes on key, sometimes not. Those of you who have heard me sing know that this characterizes most of my musical performances.
There were showers in the dressing rooms in the bowels of the theatre, and after several hours in this amazingly itchy get up, I underwent a hasty hair removal and shower, just long enough to get the bulk of the stuff off me so that it didn't look like I was also channeling Al Jolson, but not enough to get the many layers of eye-liner off. I didn't realize that I hadn't removed all the gunk until later. I spent the remainder of the evening in my street clothes, at the bar, enduring chuckles at my Cleopatra/Racoon eyes.
Six Degrees Or Less
01/14/06
A Few Connections:
My old friend Jim Beaver, whom I first met at The Variety Arts Center in the early 80's, is starring as Henry II in a new production of The Lion In Winter at LA's Theatre West. Jim is familiar to some of you from his many film and TV roles and currently, he plays Ellsworth on the HBO hit Deadwood. We last crossed paths in late summer of 2000 when he was playing Gary on the ABC series The Trouble With Normal, and I guested on one episode as the voice of a motivational guru.
The star of that series was Jon Cryer, and Jon's paternal grandfather, Dr. Donald Cryer, was the minister at St. Paul's Methodist Church in Madeira, Ohio, where I was a member of the congregation. Jon and I discussed this at lunch break, and he told me that both of his grandfathers had been ministers (Jim's father was a minister, and of course, both of Jon's parents are actors...)
The Trouble With Normal was produced by Tim Doyle, who was the assistant director on You Can't Take It With You, the very first play I did after graduation in California. The play also starred Glenn Shadix (who got me the job at the Variety Arts Center where I met Jim) and was produced at the Bank Playhouse in Pasadena, operated by Dr. Nathan Roth, father of David Lee Roth.
Starring opposite Jim in the play as Eleanor of Aquitane is Bridget Hanley, probably best known from the old series Here Come The Brides. Bridget is the widow of director E. W. Swackhamer, from whom I learned a great deal while working on the film Longshot.
If you're in LA, go see Jim and Bridget. The Lion In Winter is one of the truly terrific plays of the last 50 years. I've done it twice...both times playing Richard the Lionhearted...and Robin Riker and I have discussed playing Henry and Eleanor together when we reach the appropriate ages. Robin appeared with Glenn Shadix and me in the radio series The Adventures of Doc Savage, costarred with me in the blink-and-you-miss-it internet series Mars and Beyond, and starred in Thunder Alley, produced by Tim Doyle and costarring (et voila) Jim Beaver.
My old friend Jim Beaver, whom I first met at The Variety Arts Center in the early 80's, is starring as Henry II in a new production of The Lion In Winter at LA's Theatre West. Jim is familiar to some of you from his many film and TV roles and currently, he plays Ellsworth on the HBO hit Deadwood. We last crossed paths in late summer of 2000 when he was playing Gary on the ABC series The Trouble With Normal, and I guested on one episode as the voice of a motivational guru.
The star of that series was Jon Cryer, and Jon's paternal grandfather, Dr. Donald Cryer, was the minister at St. Paul's Methodist Church in Madeira, Ohio, where I was a member of the congregation. Jon and I discussed this at lunch break, and he told me that both of his grandfathers had been ministers (Jim's father was a minister, and of course, both of Jon's parents are actors...)
The Trouble With Normal was produced by Tim Doyle, who was the assistant director on You Can't Take It With You, the very first play I did after graduation in California. The play also starred Glenn Shadix (who got me the job at the Variety Arts Center where I met Jim) and was produced at the Bank Playhouse in Pasadena, operated by Dr. Nathan Roth, father of David Lee Roth.
Starring opposite Jim in the play as Eleanor of Aquitane is Bridget Hanley, probably best known from the old series Here Come The Brides. Bridget is the widow of director E. W. Swackhamer, from whom I learned a great deal while working on the film Longshot.
If you're in LA, go see Jim and Bridget. The Lion In Winter is one of the truly terrific plays of the last 50 years. I've done it twice...both times playing Richard the Lionhearted...and Robin Riker and I have discussed playing Henry and Eleanor together when we reach the appropriate ages. Robin appeared with Glenn Shadix and me in the radio series The Adventures of Doc Savage, costarred with me in the blink-and-you-miss-it internet series Mars and Beyond, and starred in Thunder Alley, produced by Tim Doyle and costarring (et voila) Jim Beaver.
Travel Day
12/09/05
As I write this, the entire Eastern Seaboard is being
coated with a semi-liquid white substance, up to 8
inches in some places. This started while we
Easterners slept, at around 4:30 a.m.
I need to make a journey to Staten Island, there to perform the role of Scrooge. The trip usually takes 2 hours by my preferred method, a dazzling public transportation combo of light rail, subway, ferry, bus, and shoe leather. The performance is just about 11 hours from now, and I figure to leave the house at noon....which should put me at the theatre steps in time for half-hour.
The snow is pretty, though,and most sane persons will be taking the day off. Which means, I guess, that I'll be on said public transportation with the crazy ones.
Not so different from the usual routine.
I need to make a journey to Staten Island, there to perform the role of Scrooge. The trip usually takes 2 hours by my preferred method, a dazzling public transportation combo of light rail, subway, ferry, bus, and shoe leather. The performance is just about 11 hours from now, and I figure to leave the house at noon....which should put me at the theatre steps in time for half-hour.
The snow is pretty, though,and most sane persons will be taking the day off. Which means, I guess, that I'll be on said public transportation with the crazy ones.
Not so different from the usual routine.
No Promises
11/24/05
Sure, this may look like a recent post, but I'm not
about to guarantee that I'll be adding to this mess
on anywhere near a regular basis. Promises have been
made on these pages before...promises that were
broken. Shattered. Torn into tiny bits.
I will say that I miss my ladies, who are away visiting family, while I remain behind to rehearse.
And I'm happy to see that the Clippers are having a very decent early season. The Knicks, of course, are not. This is probably not Larry Brown's fault any more than it is Stephon Marbury's fault. Let's blame Isiah.
I will say that I miss my ladies, who are away visiting family, while I remain behind to rehearse.
And I'm happy to see that the Clippers are having a very decent early season. The Knicks, of course, are not. This is probably not Larry Brown's fault any more than it is Stephon Marbury's fault. Let's blame Isiah.
Intelimac
06/06/05
As I type this, Steve Jobs is announcing that Apple
will switch processors from IBM PPC to Intel Pentium
starting June, 2006. 2 years ago, Jobs had promised a
3ghz Mac , but IBM was unable to pull it off, so he
dropped the hammer.
The whole Interweb has been abuzz over the weekend about this announcement, so it comes as no surprise. What is surprising is that every version of Mac OS X has been compiled for Intel processors in the super secret Apple labs. Every version in the last 5 years, and it has been running on Pentium processors in Cupertino since around 2002. Although there had been rumors that OS 10.3 would run on Pentium, it had never been confirmed, or really, given much credence.
I wonder what the penalty would've been had anybody leaked and confirmed that information, say, two years ago? That engineer probably would've vanished off the face of the Earth...
The whole Interweb has been abuzz over the weekend about this announcement, so it comes as no surprise. What is surprising is that every version of Mac OS X has been compiled for Intel processors in the super secret Apple labs. Every version in the last 5 years, and it has been running on Pentium processors in Cupertino since around 2002. Although there had been rumors that OS 10.3 would run on Pentium, it had never been confirmed, or really, given much credence.
I wonder what the penalty would've been had anybody leaked and confirmed that information, say, two years ago? That engineer probably would've vanished off the face of the Earth...
I Know Who Knows Me
04/27/04
A few weeks ago I wrote about an audition. I have
since discovered who did the recommending, albeit in
a roundabout way: My once and future director,
Mark Steven
Robinson. Moons ago, Mark attended NYU with the
folks who were producing that play, and they
contacted him for casting suggestions. He hadn't read
the play, but based on their description of
the character, he gave them my name and number. Their
description omitted one tiny detail, namely, the
character is in his 60's. And when the director
called me, she didn't mention the character's age
because she thought she was speaking to a guy who fit
the description....See, it all makes sense, sorta.
(Unless Mark really does think I look 60. I'll have
to ask him.)
Anyway, Mark and I will work together again soon. He's directing a staged reading Rich Orloff's "Pool Party" for the 6th Annual TRU New Voices Festival, and he's cast me. (May 16th at The Greenwich Street Theatre. Y'all come.) Also in the cast is my friend Mary, with whom I've worked a few times, and who is loads o' fun to hang around with. I'm also in the reading of "Endurance" by Jennifer Fell Hayes on May 11, at the same theatre for the same festival, and this Thursday the 29th, I'm reading the role of Buffalo Bill and others in "The Bones Of Giants" by Cheryl L. Davis at EST. (This'll be our third go 'round in the script revision stage as the play moves toward a full production.)
The American Heartland Theater has done wrong to my friend Patricia by canceling their production of "Perfect Wedding" in order to extend the run of the current show. Not only is Patricia out the salary (less 2 weeks cancellation compensation) but she, and the others in the cast lose precious work weeks toward health insurance (all of the performers unions have increased eligibility for health insurance to ridiculous levels), and she also loses the money she would've made subletting her apartment here. Look, I know its the producers' prerogative to juggle the schedule, but they didn't shift the show to another slot, they flat out cancelled it. At least move it to next season's schedule, and employ the same cast. Sheesh, contracts were signed, lives were rearranged! If their current show is such a big hit, let it pay back in good will next season. I'm certain that they haven't signed the contracts for shows announced for the end of next season. They obviously like "Perfect Wedding" or they wouldn't have put it on their schedule in the first place. Will they like it less next year?
Anyway, Mark and I will work together again soon. He's directing a staged reading Rich Orloff's "Pool Party" for the 6th Annual TRU New Voices Festival, and he's cast me. (May 16th at The Greenwich Street Theatre. Y'all come.) Also in the cast is my friend Mary, with whom I've worked a few times, and who is loads o' fun to hang around with. I'm also in the reading of "Endurance" by Jennifer Fell Hayes on May 11, at the same theatre for the same festival, and this Thursday the 29th, I'm reading the role of Buffalo Bill and others in "The Bones Of Giants" by Cheryl L. Davis at EST. (This'll be our third go 'round in the script revision stage as the play moves toward a full production.)
The American Heartland Theater has done wrong to my friend Patricia by canceling their production of "Perfect Wedding" in order to extend the run of the current show. Not only is Patricia out the salary (less 2 weeks cancellation compensation) but she, and the others in the cast lose precious work weeks toward health insurance (all of the performers unions have increased eligibility for health insurance to ridiculous levels), and she also loses the money she would've made subletting her apartment here. Look, I know its the producers' prerogative to juggle the schedule, but they didn't shift the show to another slot, they flat out cancelled it. At least move it to next season's schedule, and employ the same cast. Sheesh, contracts were signed, lives were rearranged! If their current show is such a big hit, let it pay back in good will next season. I'm certain that they haven't signed the contracts for shows announced for the end of next season. They obviously like "Perfect Wedding" or they wouldn't have put it on their schedule in the first place. Will they like it less next year?
Somebody Knows Me, But Not Well
03/26/04
I had an audition last night for a short play for an
upcoming festival at the American Globe Theatre here
in New York. The director, a young woman from the NYU
Writer's Project, called me and asked that I come in
to read for one of two roles in the play, the other
role having already been cast.
I arrived at about 7:30 pm at the appointed location. I was given the script to look over; and since it was a short play, I was able to read it through three times before my session with the director and playwright. The role called for a British accent, and they had me do it both with and without the accent. I felt that I read very well, and both of the auditors seemed happy with my interpretation, but...
When I first read the play, I noted that the role I was reading for was described as 'an intelligent, charming, handsome man, about 60 years old'. Um. "That can't be right," I think. "I'm not sixty. I'm not even close to sixty! I mean, I'm closer to sixty that I am to 20, but...Maybe they want me for the other role..."'a shirtless, gym-toned young man of 23'. Hmm. Nope.
I tend to put blinders on when I'm at a call, so I hadn't really noticed the other guys there. After I read through the piece once, though, I looked at the man sitting a few chairs away on my right, and the fellow sitting next to him. Distinguished looking chaps, both. And both clearly in their 60's. And as I was called into the room, another 60-ish fellow signed in for his turn.
After my reading, I asked the director how she came to call me in. I figured maybe it came from the Theatrical Department of my Commercial Agency, since I have no theatrical agents of my own at the moment. She said I'd been recommended by X (a name I'd never heard). "X? I don't know who that is." Oh, she says,well he got a recommendation from Y. (another name I'd never heard). "I don't know her either!" We three had a good small chuckle at that. I thanked them and took my leave.
Somebody is keeping an eye out for me, for which I am grateful. But that somebody thinks I'm sixty.
I don't think I'll be offered the role.
I arrived at about 7:30 pm at the appointed location. I was given the script to look over; and since it was a short play, I was able to read it through three times before my session with the director and playwright. The role called for a British accent, and they had me do it both with and without the accent. I felt that I read very well, and both of the auditors seemed happy with my interpretation, but...
When I first read the play, I noted that the role I was reading for was described as 'an intelligent, charming, handsome man, about 60 years old'. Um. "That can't be right," I think. "I'm not sixty. I'm not even close to sixty! I mean, I'm closer to sixty that I am to 20, but...Maybe they want me for the other role..."'a shirtless, gym-toned young man of 23'. Hmm. Nope.
I tend to put blinders on when I'm at a call, so I hadn't really noticed the other guys there. After I read through the piece once, though, I looked at the man sitting a few chairs away on my right, and the fellow sitting next to him. Distinguished looking chaps, both. And both clearly in their 60's. And as I was called into the room, another 60-ish fellow signed in for his turn.
After my reading, I asked the director how she came to call me in. I figured maybe it came from the Theatrical Department of my Commercial Agency, since I have no theatrical agents of my own at the moment. She said I'd been recommended by X (a name I'd never heard). "X? I don't know who that is." Oh, she says,well he got a recommendation from Y. (another name I'd never heard). "I don't know her either!" We three had a good small chuckle at that. I thanked them and took my leave.
Somebody is keeping an eye out for me, for which I am grateful. But that somebody thinks I'm sixty.
I don't think I'll be offered the role.
What Am I, Twelve?
03/10/04
I can't help it. Some things strike me funny, and
this AFP headline is one of those:
Enigma of Uranus Solved at last
Read the story, and its a report on the quirky magnetic properties of the planet. But when the article starts talking about "gas giants", well...
And then "hard evidence to back it will only come from a probe to Uranus..."
That's when I shot coffee out of my nose.
Yes. I am twelve.
Enigma of Uranus Solved at last
Read the story, and its a report on the quirky magnetic properties of the planet. But when the article starts talking about "gas giants", well...
And then "hard evidence to back it will only come from a probe to Uranus..."
That's when I shot coffee out of my nose.
Yes. I am twelve.
Note To Self
02/09/04
RIP Bob Keeshan
01/23/04
One of the last links to my early childhood is now broken. I was a huge Captain Kangaroo fan.
I don't remember feeling 'talked down to' by the Captain and Mr. Green Jeans and the gang, just entertained, and enchanted.
Godspeed, Captain. Say hello from me to Jim Henson and Fred Rogers.
Of course, Soupy Sales is still with us.
This just in via Boing Boing: The Captain surely would've loved this
Ping Pong Ball avalanche!
Crap
11/20/03
Man, what a gawdawful audition today! Up at five, in
line by 6:45. I was prepared, relaxed, and ready to
have fun. Another long wait in the rain, colder than
yesterday, and the usual odd mix of people. We
finally were let in out of the cold and packed like
the sardines we are into two large drafty rooms,
where we sat. And sat. And sat some more. The sign-in
process, supposed to start at 9, was delayed nearly a
half hour because the Equity monitor was stuck on a
slow subway train. She gets there, we sign in, sit
around some more, and an hour later...I,
(prepared, relaxed, fun-loving me) SUCKED.
That's all. For whatever reason, I just couldn't get
my Theseus to be the best Theseus he could be.
Started well enough, but just degenerated into sloppy
work by the mid-way point. We'd been asked to prepare
two monologues, but the auditors were only allowing
one because of time constraints. My other was Brutus.
Yup.
Shoulda done the tragedy.
Yup.
Shoulda done the tragedy.
Wet Feet
11/19/03
Attended a call today for an out of town gig in
Florida. The nature of such calls entails arising at
an ungodly hour and standing with many other hopefuls
on the street outside the venue, until such time as
they deign to open the doors and let you in to wait
some more. I don't really mind this process much,
particularly when I have the fully packed iPod with
me. But this morning, it was raining. Hard. And
though I was dressed for it, and umbrella'd, I still
was drenched long before I was allowed inside. I
carry an extra pair of socks with me, and 'good'
shoes, so by the time I actually auditioned, I was
reasonably dry and my feet didn't squeak...
After this, I headed downtown for a "Go See": A photo call for a sports shoe maker. Naturally, they wanted to photograph my bare feet. Or rather, everybody's feet. There were about 100 people in the room, most shoeless, and more arriving by the minute. I was told they were looking for "Feet with personality". 'K...The woman ahead of me, in her sixties, I'd guess, had both the top and bottom of her left foot photographed. Her feet had personality. My left foot was apparently not so photogenic, as they only shot the top of it. As I was leaving, I ran into a friend of mine. This woman, a former ballet dancer who certainly must have personable feet said to me: "What're you doing here? You probably have leading man feet!"
Flattered, or at least comforted that something about me was leading mannish, I trudged back out into the rain, my extra pair of socks ready to absorb thrice their weight in water.
After this, I headed downtown for a "Go See": A photo call for a sports shoe maker. Naturally, they wanted to photograph my bare feet. Or rather, everybody's feet. There were about 100 people in the room, most shoeless, and more arriving by the minute. I was told they were looking for "Feet with personality". 'K...The woman ahead of me, in her sixties, I'd guess, had both the top and bottom of her left foot photographed. Her feet had personality. My left foot was apparently not so photogenic, as they only shot the top of it. As I was leaving, I ran into a friend of mine. This woman, a former ballet dancer who certainly must have personable feet said to me: "What're you doing here? You probably have leading man feet!"
Flattered, or at least comforted that something about me was leading mannish, I trudged back out into the rain, my extra pair of socks ready to absorb thrice their weight in water.
The Transformation Of Wil Wheaton
10/15/03
This entry in Wil Wheaton's blog is inspiring.
The man has, over the last couple of years, remade
himself while remaining true to himself. Not an easy
task by any stretch. He's done it with wit, humility,
skill, talent, no small amount of love and support
from his wife and kids, and most amazingly, he's done
it publicly.
You'd do well to bookmark his site and follow the continuing adventures of Uncle Willy. Far preferable to checking in here on my goofball site, for certain.
Wil and I appear together in Foreign Correspondents, he in a lead role in the first half of the film, I in supporting in the second half. The nature of the shoot assured that we didn't meet on set, and because of previous commitments, he was unable to attend the LA premiere with the rest of the cast. But I love his work in this film, and I look forward to meeting him one day soon and congratulating him in person.
You'd do well to bookmark his site and follow the continuing adventures of Uncle Willy. Far preferable to checking in here on my goofball site, for certain.
Wil and I appear together in Foreign Correspondents, he in a lead role in the first half of the film, I in supporting in the second half. The nature of the shoot assured that we didn't meet on set, and because of previous commitments, he was unable to attend the LA premiere with the rest of the cast. But I love his work in this film, and I look forward to meeting him one day soon and congratulating him in person.
Of Course!
09/03/03
My agents are running low on headshots, so I dropped
off the last of what I had and called the repro house
to order more prints. For some reason, I have in my
notes that the contact person at the photo place is
named Ygor. (The company is run by Russian
immigrants, and they do a nice job....) So I ask to
speak to Ygor, and I'm greeted by a long silence,
then (in heavily accented English):
"There is nobody called Ygor here!"
"Um, okay, I want to order re-prints, so..."
"Where are you calling? Why do you ask for Ygor?"
"Yeah, look, I just want to get some more photos printed"
"We do that, nobody is Ygor here."
"Well, who is this?"
"I am not Ygor."
"...uh, alright notYgor, can I just order..."
"What is name?"
"Coler. C-O-L-..."
"No first name?"
"Douglas"
"Dooglas, how are you! It is Mikhail!"
Now, I know I've got a business card with Ygor on it. I keep it with the receipts, and it's also in my address book. But hey, if he's Mikhail, and he can get my order taken, I'm just as happy to talk to him.
"Dooglas, call me fifteen minutes. I will look for the file."
"Fine, Mikhail. But why do I have a business card that says Ygor?"
"Ygor doesn't answer phones."
"So you do have somebody named Ygor?'
"Yes, yes. He is lab guy."
I consider myself well versed in the Universal horror genre, and I am chagrined that I didn't think of that. Of course: Ygor is ALWAYS the lab guy.
It's still a mystery as to why I have Ygor's card. And since he doesn't answer phones, why he has a card in the first place.
"There is nobody called Ygor here!"
"Um, okay, I want to order re-prints, so..."
"Where are you calling? Why do you ask for Ygor?"
"Yeah, look, I just want to get some more photos printed"
"We do that, nobody is Ygor here."
"Well, who is this?"
"I am not Ygor."
"...uh, alright notYgor, can I just order..."
"What is name?"
"Coler. C-O-L-..."
"No first name?"
"Douglas"
"Dooglas, how are you! It is Mikhail!"
Now, I know I've got a business card with Ygor on it. I keep it with the receipts, and it's also in my address book. But hey, if he's Mikhail, and he can get my order taken, I'm just as happy to talk to him.
"Dooglas, call me fifteen minutes. I will look for the file."
"Fine, Mikhail. But why do I have a business card that says Ygor?"
"Ygor doesn't answer phones."
"So you do have somebody named Ygor?'
"Yes, yes. He is lab guy."
I consider myself well versed in the Universal horror genre, and I am chagrined that I didn't think of that. Of course: Ygor is ALWAYS the lab guy.
It's still a mystery as to why I have Ygor's card. And since he doesn't answer phones, why he has a card in the first place.
